And Then It Starts To Snow
by rain-streaked
Summary: [ZabuHaku-ish] Haku, Zabuza, a decision, and a dream only half realized.


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Haku, Zabuza, a decision, and a dream only half realized.

[notes]: Writing a person's thoughts are hard, because you only know half of their thoughts and never the consistency. ESPECIALLY Kakashi. Don't ever let anyone tell you that writing for Kakashi is easy. Unless you're a genius of emotions. Or a lucky bas... let's not go there.

[warning]: This is just my interpretation of the thoughts of certain characters during the time right before Haku and Zabuza's death. And there will be swearing, because Zabuza's just like that.

[disclaimer]: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-san, and not to me.

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Haku, Zabuza, a decision, and a dream only half realized.

[**start**]

__

The mist has cleared.

When you move quickly, the world around you is just a blur of colors.

__

Your future is death.

And when the world around you is just a blur, then you tend to forget - that there are lines lines _lines_, all waiting to define your sins.

*

Blue eyes, so bright and so deep you think you're staring into the ocean, drowning and struggling for breath.

They flinch to the side too quick for words, but you can see and you can follow his gaze (because you know this kind of stuff).

Pale skin riddled with blood and needles and - maybe they were tears. Black black black eyes tinged with red forever closed, and you remember similar eyes, shut and closed and sealed, never to open again. Black hair fanned out, bangs resting lightly on his face - so calm.

__

Please kill me, you ask of the burning boy in front of you, almost hesitant on your decision.

It's really quite cruel, asking someone to dye their unwilling hands in your blood.

His eyes squeeze shut and he clenches his fists and stays tense and alert. Slowly, as if breathing out quietly, he raises his head and opens his eyes. (He stares at you and you feel burned - but you know it's normal, because he's the kind of boy to make you feel that way - alive and guilty.)

__

Please kill me, you say, and this time you mean it.

*

Power. In my hand. rushing. quickly.

When a fight begins nothing is fluid except for my movements. There's pain. death. loss.

But I can't concentrate on that, or I will lose.

Zabuza pinned to his stance, by my nin-pups.

Shall I end. your. pain?

I'm running forward, too fast to stop. think. concentrate.

My eyes close for the briefest moment as they slide through flesh. blood. touch.

Hands grip at my arm, and I know it isn't Zabuza. Haku. boy. speed.

__

Za-Zabuza-san...

Light. heavy. pleased.

__

My future is death?

Mocking. taunting. and the slightest of pain.

Zabuza's hand reaches for his sword and he grips. it and. swings.

I grab the boy and shift my weight -

my thoughts are wild and jerky but my movements are confident and my eyes are calm

- and _jump_

*

Kakashi passed his hand over familiar empty eyes and they are suddenly closed.

Maybe something passed my lips but they were caught and I don't wanna know what the HELL that was.

When I tried to fight Kakashi my body was so dull and unresponsive; there was pain everywhere and it was hard to _move_.

But then _he _- that son of a _bitch_ - came and spouted off a bunch of fucking _shit_ -

(there was power everywhere, anger everywhere and I wanted to _kill - that - bastard -)_

and then he kicked Haku's face and then I was fucking going to _maim_ him -but - I have a damn finger pointed at me, accusing me.

__

Watch your fucking mouth, kid, I wanna say but - 

Words, so unlike the soft ones I've heard from my tool, instead rough and feral and powerful.

My tool - weapon - _Haku_ - what did he say?

__

We have similar eyes, he said, and I knew that it was trash so I ignored it.

Maybe he had a dream and maybe I did too, but it's too fucking late now, isn't it?

__

We have similar eyes, I remember again and I wanna rip someone's FUCKING HEART OUT, I wanna feel like I've still got the power of fear.

SOMEONE IS FUCKING GOING TO DIE, AND I KNOW WHO IT IS.

We have similar eyes.

Shut the fuck up, boy.

*

I... HATE him.

__

Him, the boy who stole Sasuke's dream and then died for his master's dream.

Why is he - _Zabuza_ - so special to him?! That... that... monster, who doesn't give a crap about Haku and his dreams and his love? Zabuza doesn't need Haku's love - oh _no_, he just needs Haku to do what he says - he just needs to use Haku - 

__

In this world, I am someone who is unwanted -

So I tell him. How much Haku loved him, so much that he freakin' DIED for him, just like that.

And I tell him. How he's such a MONSTER, taking control over another BEING and... and... just being WHO HE IS - that is, a frecking piece of CRAP -

And then he turns around with TEARS in his eyes, as if they could redeem Haku's life and soul and Haku's facking dream.

But then his voice his rough and soft and tumbly and he tells ME that I

__

don't have to say any more, kid.

Of course.

And then I toss him a kunai - nice teeth, mister. I'm sure you had time to take care of them... but not enough time to listen to HAKU, huh? - and he holds it clenched between his teeth and then he just _charges_.

And then there's blood flying - as if there wasn't enough - and suddenly Gatou's head is beside his body, looking nice and tidy and SHOOT WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED.

And I don't care about Zabuza and he can still _kiss my ass _for all I care, but even then -

he asks to be placed next to Haku and Kakashi-sensei lifts him up and lays him down -

he struggles to raise his arm -

and he softly (Haku's fecking DEAD all ready mister, no need to hesitate) places his hand on Haku's cheek (is he still warm?) and then there's -

__

If I could, I would like to go to the same place as you.

I wonder if Haku had a dream before he met Zabuza.

[**end**]

and then it starts to snow.

[by rain-streaked]


End file.
